gemini blue (may 2021)

i like that technology liberates more voices.

i hate how it buries me in forgotten history.

i like that poetry is visible and more common

now, but i hate how dull and boring it all feels.

i like that others are trying.

i hate how so few succeed.

i like how i tried so often, so hard, so long.

i hate that i burn out slowly as i fade away.

i like being some fool’s happy dream.

i hate being the saint of their delusions.

: : :

i, not this, or that, or then, or there. i,

invisible to any dogma, layer, margin.

i like the tickle of my feelings, like a cartoon crush.

i hate being such a goddamn, stupid, deluded cliché.

i like the thought of liking you. i hate that

i might not – christ, what a stupid thought.

i like all that i gave others.

i hate how it’s all nothing.

i like my drive to hope & pray.

i hate that i just can’t do either.

:

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~A.